Writer's Block: Miss Manners

[wytchcroft]

[Error: unknown template qotd] I believe that the answer can only be that truly dreadful invention, the standardised sneeze sound substitution implant device.

Recently I believed myself to be fortunate in stumbling upon an open air Opera recital. How wrong can a chap be? Imagine both my distaste and horror at finding myself covered in mucous, phlegm and saliva, even as the voice of the sneezer reached an alto-crescendo truly sublime.

This wretched device has also deceived the local bus driver into believing himself an artist. "Terpsichore!" he yells as he builds a suitable head of steam, "nothing like Terpsichore for starting a morning. Not to mention it clears yer pipes!"

Sneezing of course, like most bodily expressions, is both contagious and catching, by which I mean not only are disgusting germs spread willy-nilly but the actual desire to sneeze is carried quickly around any group or assembly. Thus the bus is always delayed as we participate in a (no longer spontaneous) full three choruses of The Pirates of Penzance.

Old Doris Gladthorp, 100 next year, bless - actually managed to eject herself clear off the bus such was the enthusiastic power of her sneeze. I looked in horror at the bus driver and his only response was "I better do The Gondoliers tomorrow, it's lighter."

Cheap hi-tech implants will be nothing but trouble, mark my words.

Comments

[gunter-spb.livejournal.com]

I am the new technologies do not interfere. I have a secluded life. Flat, dog, afternoon, go to the store. Morning and afternoon to work the evening watching movies or news on TV. Mobile phone I use is not enough. Using a DVD player to watch old cimema (Today the British film about World War II, 1946). The laptop and the Internet - it is the working area. Internet is often hampered, distracted. Nothing terrible new technologies, I do not notice.

[wytchcroft.livejournal.com]

i am the same way really:)

[reginaclarejane.livejournal.com]

I think I better get one of those... my husband says every time I sneeze, it sounds like I am saying, "F-U!"
Also, people bless me when I cough- hmm...
;)

[wytchcroft.livejournal.com]

LOL! I used to know someone who lived next door to a dog that always sounded like it was swearing when it barked.:))

[reginaclarejane.livejournal.com]

Hee hee- and my husband can burp the alphabet! He's so talented!
;)

[wytchcroft.livejournal.com]

get that boy to the circus now!:D

[stoshagownozad.livejournal.com]

sneezing implants! Oh my dear...
(imagined myself sneezing out Enya's "Only time")

[wytchcroft.livejournal.com]

HA HA HA!:)))