wytchcroft: heavent sent (Default)
wytchcroft ([personal profile] wytchcroft) wrote2010-04-25 04:13 am

dead man walking

could have been that
dead man walking
turning to gold
shaking loose
that Lazarus lump

turning to gold
could have been that
new world, new planet
some plateau
some time

could have been that
sunrise and the cities
on a hot wave of neon
somewhere strange

electrical oceans
in which we bathe

like a dream
science fiction
dead man walking
with hands and rays
drifting into the future
on the back of the days

these hands
held their promise
could have been that
restless amazed.

[identity profile] inmyocean.livejournal.com 2010-04-25 03:17 am (UTC)(link)
Adore this. The repetition really works for me, especially "could have been that".

What I love most though is this expression, "restless amazed". I felt it and it left me breathless. :))

[identity profile] wytchcroft.livejournal.com 2010-04-25 03:19 am (UTC)(link)
wow that was quick! thank you :))
this was just a doodle, sometimes no sense makes the most sense, to me :))

[identity profile] inmyocean.livejournal.com 2010-04-25 03:24 am (UTC)(link)
I like *doodles*. I tend to partake in them, as well. :))

[identity profile] wytchcroft.livejournal.com 2010-04-25 03:21 am (UTC)(link)
ps - i haven't had a chance to catch up with everyone today, but i'll be dropping in on you tomorrow evening, see you then :))

[identity profile] inmyocean.livejournal.com 2010-04-25 03:24 am (UTC)(link)
You are too kind, my friend. Thank you. :)

[identity profile] wytchcroft.livejournal.com 2010-04-25 03:25 am (UTC)(link)
pish! it will be my pleasure! :)))

[identity profile] stoshagownozad.livejournal.com 2010-04-25 06:31 am (UTC)(link)
lile in Metropolis!

[identity profile] wytchcroft.livejournal.com 2010-04-25 08:28 am (UTC)(link)
yes, yes! :)))

[identity profile] reginaclarejane.livejournal.com 2010-04-25 11:45 am (UTC)(link)
hey! really cool poem, my friend! i loved the futuristic feel of it- and this line in particular..."shaking loose
that Lazarus lump"- that is brill, sir nic...
this one goes into my secret stash of favorites...;)
Edited 2010-04-25 11:45 (UTC)

[identity profile] wytchcroft.livejournal.com 2010-04-25 09:11 pm (UTC)(link)
thank you my friend! :))

[identity profile] java-fiend.livejournal.com 2010-04-25 04:16 pm (UTC)(link)
I really like this one. I love that 5th stanza most of all. Really well done.

[identity profile] wytchcroft.livejournal.com 2010-04-25 09:11 pm (UTC)(link)
cheers! :))

[identity profile] wytchcroft.livejournal.com 2010-04-25 09:10 pm (UTC)(link)
that makes it worth the posting :))

[identity profile] betsycontent.livejournal.com 2010-04-25 10:24 pm (UTC)(link)
sorry i'm so far behind with my comments. you had a poem posted a month or two ago that was especially brilliant. i will look for it again and comment soon.

[identity profile] wytchcroft.livejournal.com 2010-04-25 10:34 pm (UTC)(link)
truthfully, i don't give a f--k about your comments, i DO give a f--k about YOU. it's just nice to know you're there, silly :))

*HUGE HUGS*

[identity profile] wytchcroft.livejournal.com 2010-04-25 11:15 pm (UTC)(link)
and i sent you a young Lance Corporal.

heh heh. ;))

[identity profile] betsycontent.livejournal.com 2010-04-25 11:30 pm (UTC)(link)
oooh! yummy! does he look like david tennant by any chance? :)))

[identity profile] betsycontent.livejournal.com 2010-04-25 11:42 pm (UTC)(link)
omg. want. ::swoons::