Writer's Block: If these walls could talk
Nov. 13th, 2009 12:14 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wytchcroft
Surprising as it may sound, I don't actually dream of owning a home in which a brutal murder has taken place, or a non brutal murder come to that.
On the other hand it wouldn't put me off. The neighbours might though.
"Oh ye daft wee Wytch the feckin’ place is haunted I tell ye!"
A blood curdling silence...
Wytch lights a cigarette...
Puff. puff.
Wytch adopts the usual level stare and accent of the Londoner. "Haunted? Pull the other one!"
"No, no, I’m telling ye it's -"
Wytch stomps inside to call the men in white coats and abandons all PC propriety.
"Get these fuckers out of here and make it snappy!"
Three weeks later and a moaning comes through the house...
uhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooh oooooooo uuuuuuuh...
"Do you bloody mind, I’m trying to hack up my lungs already, it’s bloody six a.m. push off!" Koff! Hack!
A slow rattling of chains accompanied by squishy footsteps...
"But don't you see, yonder phony Scottish neighbours were right! For I was horribly murdered upon a Whitsun eclipse when -"
"Like I give a monkey’s. Can it, Marley - unless you can make yourself useful."
"But I was foully wronged and -""And what? You want counselling? I charge for that! Why the 666 do you want to offload now?"
Angry rattling of chains and flailing ectoplasmic limbs.
Wytch leaps up, hair on end.
"Do... that - do that... AGAIN!"
Spook obliges. Wytch's pupils dilate.
"Oh... My... God... that's... grrreat!" Rushes off to find sampler. "I think we're onto something here!"
Three weeks later and the album is rush released to great acclaim for it's haunting melodies, ghostly vocals and entrancing pop hooks.
Wytch is smug.
"Natasha Khan I’m coming for YOU!"
Jumps on horse and gallops into the mire.
"Oh bollocks. bloody.. mire... glug, glug."
THE END
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no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 12:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 12:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 05:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 05:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 06:23 am (UTC)I was so impressed with his brave heart!
no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 04:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 04:21 pm (UTC)is it joke?
no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 06:10 pm (UTC)http://wytchcroft.livejournal.com/tag/my+pet+hamster
:))
no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 05:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 05:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 06:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 06:26 am (UTC)You are made of awesome.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 04:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 06:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 09:12 am (UTC)Pushkin's euphimism for that situation in his "Eugene Onegin" was "to make (everybody) respect you"... :)
no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 12:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 04:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 04:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 07:44 am (UTC)I adore the dialogue in this post!
no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 04:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 09:06 am (UTC)For purposes of recording of ghostly music in the haunted house it is also recommended to find the old house wherein a jazzman was murdered it will add to the rattle of chains fine tunes of saxophone and probably, soft sounds of a piano accompaniment...
no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 04:11 pm (UTC)