wytchcroft | Week of Wonders! Introductions pt 2. me. (a bit)

and so a little of myself - my little self in fact - that is to say shorter and younger.
Yes, as a kidling I was given a Magic Set, the sort of thing you were given when you were liable to use a chemistry set to poison the local vicar or your least favourite teacher. I was not a trusted child. Well, perhaps that was for the best - after all I once painted myself all over with chamomile lotion thinking it would make me invisible and drank foaming bubble bath to try and become Mr Hyde. I was not a trusted child, did I mention?

Ok so the Magic Set, wonky top hat and all, became something of an obsession, along with hiding in cupboards and trying to get back to Mars (see elsewhere). I practised hard and did reasonably well. However I quickly discovered two things - one I had no memory for card tricks and two, I enjoyed being tied up. (koff!)

This led me to abandon the idea of the classic magician and wait patiently until I was old enough to study hypnotism and escapology, which actually I did.

Croydon - it produces strange people. Really it does. Just ask Neil Gaiman, Derren Brown and Kate Moss.
But I loved my wonky top hat (eventually replaced with a real one) and I loved the squeezy balls that flattened under the plastic cups and I loved the idea of sleight of hand - which I can still do from time to time.

Later, when I was on stage with a band (yes, sorry about that) often things would go awry. The bass player would be late, a guitar string would break, a song halted mid-way while we executed the PA operator (and we really did manage a fairly decent headcount - being almost singlehandedly responsible for the improvement of gig sounds across the UK).
Yes, awry. I would have to fall back on something to keep the audience's attention. I used either plan A: Pass out. Plan B: Do stand up. Or Plan C: Do some magic.

Magic was the most fun since it was (back then) somewhat unexpected and you could get away with tricks a five year old could best me at now.

I tended to go for elementary mind-reading and disappearance (not JUST alcohol) routines. I still have somewhere a box filled with stuff I forgot to give back, lipsticks, combs, pens, junk like that.

This progressed to the point of going round places specifically to perform - which was actually a pretty cut-throat trade as I discovered when about to fake some arm-wrestling I realised that there were two other people working the place as well! At least one such occasion ended prematurely with me being solidly cold-cocked by a bloke from Newcastle. I don’t hold it against him.

Interestingly enough, around the same time, I was adopted by some Newcastle fellas as a sort of unofficial mascot, whenever they were likely to queue up somewhere they would let me know and (if I was in the vicinity) I would drop by and entertain said crew, sometimes being invited in by the door-staff (and thus gaining entrance without having to pay, always nice).

Hypnotism which I studied in London has also come in handy - for example I once got on a bus in Scotland and with an appropriately eerie stare I ordered the guy to "Driiive." and he did!

More usefully it is probably the only reason I ever passed a job interview, if nothing else it boosts confidence… and I’m fairly certain that it was successful, since on a large number of occasions people have seemed genuinely bewildered by my sudden appearance at work.

"You do what again, since when exactly?"
I just smile politely and wave a self-depreciating hand muttering "These are not the droids you're looking for, move along please."

Ah balderdash! I hear you say, yet even now you are reading this and feeling my vibrations and hearing an inner voice whispering, "Read on my friend read on - your bum is not numb - your bum is not numb!"

Is it working?

If not please contact our complaints dept here.

Escapology is still a hobby, among the few printable anecdotes I can relate includes the time when I had to do a chain break speed competition with two other people on stage in Woolwich which was slightly amusing because I won by cheating in an elementary fashion -
I just tied the other two contestants together* when people were distracted and gleefully watched them fall off the TramShed stage.

This was a great healing moment for me because as a child I was once pranked by the old ‘shoelaces together’ routine and had been bitter about it for years.

Some of my escapology has been filmed - mostly (coz I’m pretentious) for arty videos used in installations. Have you seen me I wonder?

You have?
Wow!

Wasn't I great?

Wasn't I greeat? W-as-n't I g-re-ate? Wasn't I was great I was great I was great? Hey that's very nice of you to say!
See, hypnotism - never fails.

*that's, you know, a lie, actually.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

so, the interested questions: did you turn invisibobble? did the bubble bath work?

this is all very very interesting. magicmagicmagic! so, mentalism, escapology! I have a straght-jacket from which I cannot manage to free myself.

so much magic! dude, it sounds so excellent, and please do tell more about your band. what magic did you perform with them? what music?

I am enveloped in magic, and yet I do little more yet besides practice. I am grippéd.

LOL! i'm sure the band in question were very, very bad - i was so young.

i can believe you to be enveloped in magic, yes indeed. i often the same way although of course my personal definition of magic might at times be different, as we are individuals.

as for the invisible - well i looked liked a tiny version of Native American ghost-dancer! i remember being chased down the street (thinking i WAS invisible) with my poor mum trying to catch me and put some clothes on the silly naked child!:))

the bubble, alas, did not work. i cannot recommend it - although my love for such things as Peter Cushing and the Baron's Laboratory has not abaited.

escapology, at times, i have honestly been quite serious about - i would be fairly rusty now but - it is a hobby still.

Happy St Piran's day to you!:)

Hmm... okay, you like magic, did magic as a child, like being tied up (koff!), was in a band, are well-versed in escapology (which may indicate why you are never home), and think you're GREAT!
Are you my husband secretly?
So, when you say you are away on a business trip, are you really wytchcroft somewhere across the pond??
Hmmm, indeed!
;)

"Hypnotism which I studied in London has also come in handy - for example I once got on a bus in Scotland and with an appropriately eerie stare I ordered the guy to "Driiive." and he did!:

HA! This made me guffaw, something I hardly ever do!
Congratulations!
:)

i meant to say 'Grate'. I grate.

like cheese!!!! LOL!!! :D

ha ha ha! no, really, it's a fair cop darlin' my bygamy is exposed and you are indeed wife no.897654567876567.0989876

shucks.

(seriously, you made me guffaw too - i laughed loud and hearty!)

Hee hee- just doin' my wifely duty! ;)

what scares me is how you know about my mole!!!

It's just above your fourth rib on the right side- and a nice mole it is, too!
;)

Hilarious! What I so enjoy is that I never know what in the hell the next sentence is going to be about. I'm so happy to have you on my friends' page!

and i'm always honoured to see you:)

Week of Wonders! Introductions pt 2. me. (a bit)

Magic!

Re: Magic!

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

thanks!!!:)))