wytchcroft: heavent sent (captain nemo)
wytchcroft ([personal profile] wytchcroft) wrote2008-11-17 12:12 pm

вавилонский голландец

часть отверстия : / первый эпизод / фрагмент вступления / начальный отрывок
(!)
(Это нет Seabird - не пока…)


Some rooms seem to welcome you with open arms whilst others push you away;
"Private!" they yell. "No trespassing!"
Then there are the rooms that seem so cold and neutral that they look like a mask, daring you to peer behind the impersonal even as your belly tightens with cold anticipation at what you might find and you fight the urge to back away.
Such rooms do not resent your blundering into a space belonging to someone else - they don't care about personal retreats or anything like that. These rooms will never be used in such a way. They know it - and they don't care. Such rooms just hate because they can.

Her vision still blurred, the girl had flung out an arm to support herself on one of the plush royal blue wall cushions, but her fingers crooked in and her hand froze - I don't want to touch anything here, she realised. The walls cushions, so neat and dark and clean didn't want her to either. Nor did the gleaming chrome rails that ran the length of the curving walls. Looking down she could see the thick carpet only reluctantly bearing the traces of her booted feet.

She hadn't even asked herself yet where she was.

A wide space, cupped by the walls into an oval. Carpeted, yes - and empty.
There were tables and chairs heavy and dark , they gleamed.
Even at a distance her figure could be seen as a pale smudge of reflection, upside down.
 

[identity profile] stoshagownozad.livejournal.com 2008-11-17 12:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Uh! I want more!

:):)

[identity profile] wytchcroft.livejournal.com 2008-11-17 01:13 pm (UTC)(link)
ha ha! be careful what you wish for!:)
i've put the adaptation i did, of your earlier piece, in my journal now too - can i link it to you??

Re: :):)

[identity profile] stoshagownozad.livejournal.com 2008-11-17 01:14 pm (UTC)(link)
sure I want to see :)))

please please!

Re: :):)

[identity profile] wytchcroft.livejournal.com 2008-11-17 01:23 pm (UTC)(link)
ha! thanks!:)
it's just the same old thing you read before with mariana instead of magda!

(http://wytchcroft.livejournal.com/37016.html#cutid1)

but it was a fun experiment:):) and i've linked it back to your tag noow - so people can see.
i will post some more of this story in a little while - it's nearly finished...

Re: :):)

[identity profile] wytchcroft.livejournal.com 2008-11-29 07:16 pm (UTC)(link)
full chapter coming tomorrow!:)))

[identity profile] gesperes.livejournal.com 2008-11-17 01:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Sorry, but what you mean on "часть отверстия"?

[identity profile] wytchcroft.livejournal.com 2008-11-17 01:36 pm (UTC)(link)
a piece of the beginning - opening fragment etc.

my Russian is very bad! sorry! please correct me - i am not offended when it comes to learning!:)))

[identity profile] gesperes.livejournal.com 2008-11-17 01:56 pm (UTC)(link)
:)
a piece of the beginning
in russian it will be "часть начала", "начальный отрывок".

[identity profile] gesperes.livejournal.com 2008-11-17 02:25 pm (UTC)(link)
:)

[identity profile] stoshagownozad.livejournal.com 2008-11-17 01:59 pm (UTC)(link)
ah so it should be "начало", "первый эпизод":)))) just bloody electronic translator misunderstood opening for "открытие, начало" with отверстие (hole).
but nevertheless, it's still like looking through the hole in the wall - the story just begins, the horizon is limited...

so it is not correct grammatically but in terms of emotions - stil fits:)))

[identity profile] wytchcroft.livejournal.com 2008-11-17 02:11 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL!:)

[identity profile] alex-kraine.livejournal.com 2008-11-17 02:00 pm (UTC)(link)
one of the variants of transation: "вступительный отрывок" or - which I like more - "фрагмент вступления". Because what the online translator gave you sounds in Russian as "part of the hole" :)))

[identity profile] wytchcroft.livejournal.com 2008-11-17 02:11 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL x 2!:):)

[identity profile] alex-kraine.livejournal.com 2008-11-17 01:30 pm (UTC)(link)
I am lost, wytch. What's that? Looks like a "music box" in the bedlam.

[identity profile] wytchcroft.livejournal.com 2008-11-17 01:38 pm (UTC)(link)
HA HA HA! - it is just the beginning - a girl, lost somewhere... but where? and why?
well, you shall see!.. later..:)

[identity profile] alex-kraine.livejournal.com 2008-11-17 01:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Am looking forward to that. Well, I've already followed the link and looked at the original text. Interesting... Please, go on. :)

[identity profile] wytchcroft.livejournal.com 2008-11-17 02:09 pm (UTC)(link)
thanks! it all started because i got fed up with the damn translator machine - in the end i sat down and tried to just adapt as i could because the individual softwares (RUstratan, Babel, Prompt etc) made little sense. Doin the adaptation made me understand the writing so much more:)

[identity profile] reginaclarejane.livejournal.com 2008-11-17 01:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Hm... this sounds like the beginning of a Dean Koontz or Stephen King thriller!
I got all goose-bumpy reading this... was that the desired effect? ;)

[identity profile] wytchcroft.livejournal.com 2008-11-17 02:03 pm (UTC)(link)
yes:) and thanks - i'm glad it came across, i was starting to worry!

вавилонский голландец (Babylon Dutch) is actually a whole bunch of stories by different people - in different styles, about a ship (The Sea Bird) and various things...

but the basic set up dove-tails nicely for me as a sequel to another story of mine in the stephen king genre (vaguely) - which is , uh, new terrain for me. Despite the roughness of my efforts, it's been fun to join in!:)

[identity profile] reginaclarejane.livejournal.com 2008-11-17 02:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Cool...:)

[identity profile] chalissa.livejournal.com 2008-11-17 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)
The suspense. THE SUSPENSE.

Is this a bigger thing? Will you post more?

[identity profile] wytchcroft.livejournal.com 2008-11-17 11:26 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL! yes - if i get it finished (i really write slow!).

It started off as a language experiment after my frustration with translation software!
(http://wytchcroft.livejournal.com/37016.html#cutid1),

but now it's spun off in new and interesting (to me) ways...

thanks for reading!

[identity profile] wytchcroft.livejournal.com 2009-01-20 02:31 am (UTC)(link)
because then you'll like TOTALLY read them.