wytchcroft: heavent sent (Book)
wytchcroft ([personal profile] wytchcroft) wrote2008-09-20 08:04 pm

Writer's Block: International Coastal Cleanup - Firefly

[Error: unknown template qotd] "It's funny," said Durran Haymer sounding sad, "I'd forgotten there were beaches."
The wreckage of the container drone was sat on a neat square of white plastic, and he surveyed it with a melancholy air. "Some things rust quickly don't they.."
It was not a question, but the uniformed sergeant, who had accompanied the machine into Haymer's plush apartment, said matter-of-factly;  "The land reclamation team are doing good work sir, if it wasn't for them, we would never have found this."
"What's left of it Sergeant."
"Yes sir. That plot of land is particularly corrosive, sir."

Hmm?" Haymer was distracted. "Corrosive? Yes..."
He closed his eyes for a moment - let the trickle of ambient muzak soothe him.
He sighed. "I suppose I should keep it as a memento..."
Robbed of its purpose the machine had taken on rather a sculptural look, "An abstract reminder."
"Sir?"
"THE Woman."
The Sergeant looked blank.
Haymer seemed to snap back to reality, he pulled his palm-top free of his belt and dialled recycling.



[identity profile] gilliebeans.livejournal.com 2008-09-20 08:30 pm (UTC)(link)
So creative! I liked this a lot; I saw the prompt but didn't have any idea how to relate it to the 'verse. Well done. I have to say, I particularly liked the detail here: "It was not a question, but the uniformed sergeant, who had accompanied the machine into Haymer's plush apartment, said matter-of-factly;" you convey a lot with that little detail. Well done!

[identity profile] wytchcroft.livejournal.com 2008-09-20 08:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank You!:)
And the line you quote,
i really thought maybe sucked, so it's good to get the thumbs up!:):)

[identity profile] gilliebeans.livejournal.com 2008-09-20 10:23 pm (UTC)(link)
No, it didn't suck :) The sergeant, even though he didn't work for Haymer directly, knows who has the clout in the situation. He's got to be polite and circumspect, but he's not going to let the guy with the deep pockets think anyone in his department are doing slipshod work. The whole thing, they are talking to each other, but they really aren't. Which happens a lot. Cool vignette.

[identity profile] wytchcroft.livejournal.com 2008-09-20 10:57 pm (UTC)(link)
THANKS!:):)

"The whole thing, they are talking to each other, but they really aren't."

Its a BIG relief to know that came through!:)
That sort of 'under-dialog' (???) hasn't always been too clear in my other fics...
And it will have to be, to do Mal and Inara justice in the new fic for Charlie.

[identity profile] stoshagownozad.livejournal.com 2008-09-21 06:12 am (UTC)(link)
oh so that was the end of SafYoBridge?

[identity profile] wytchcroft.livejournal.com 2008-09-21 01:24 pm (UTC)(link)
YoSafBridge never ends!:)