Writer's Block: Taking It Personally
Feb. 26th, 2009 05:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wytchcroft[Error: unknown template qotd]"You ever take one of these tests Walter?" it was a friendly question asked by a man with a smile, a smile that stayed on his lips and went nowhere else.
"Huh Walter?"
Skinner made a sound in his throat and directed his answer instead to the figure in the shadows.
"You know damn well I did - it's been a formality since -"
The smiling man cut him off. "Yes for the longest. You wanna know why Walter? Because they work."
Skinner dragged his attention across to the smiling man now, who nodded. "Don't be offended Walter, after so many years - it's an honourable list. Quite a role call, you'd be amazed."
"Really?" Skinner knew his anger wasn't clever and he hoped the glare of the light, as it slanted in through the blinds of the office and ricocheted from his spectacles, would cover his own.
"Yes Walter you would."
The man in the shadows gave a sigh now himself - or perhaps it was simply the rustling sound he made as he took out and lit yet another cigarette.
"You know who took the test once?" the other man continued. "William S. Burroughs."
Skinner gave no reaction.
"Y'see? Like I say, Walter, it works - keeps the fags and the riff raff out."
There was a sudden choking cough from the cigarette smoking man. His associate flicked a questioning look.
The man with the cigarette in one hand used his other to wave the man away.
Skinner knew the last remark had been a clumsy attempt to bait him. He simply waited, keeping his weight on the chair despite his instinct to get up and throw the man out.
The man was smiling again now but when he opened his mouth it was the voice from the shadows that Skinner heard.
"And will Fox Mulder take the test?"
The smiling man looked annoyed, thrown off-balance. "Of course he will that's - if Walter here orders him to. You will order him, won't you Walter?" He had regained some of his former expression, and stroked his bushy moustache for emphasis.
The smoking man simply bent forward from the waist slightly and repeated his question.
"He won't want to," said Skinner truthfully.
"And what will you tell him Walter?" The smiling man was leaning forward too, in a bad impression of good cop/bad cop.
Skinner looked him in the eye.
"That this isn't the Parallax View and you're not Warren Beatty."
In the darkness the cigarette smoking man chuckled, it was dry and papery, without mirth. "And will that work?" he asked.
Skinner was relieved to be talking directly now and he said as flatly as possible, "Yes - if it comes from Scully."
He could see it clearly in his mind; Mulder would do his very best Beatty grin and take the test just to prove them wrong.
"But his answers won't be worth a damn." Skinner added.
The cigarette man sucked on some smoke reflectively.
The other man shook his head. "That's the beauty of it Walter, even if he gives the most random answers in the world - the personality behind them will still come through," he flicked at his moustache again, "no matter how immature."
More bait for the Assistant Director to ignore, he simply kept his focus on the foggy corner where the other man sat.
"But that's not really the issue here, is it?" he asked rhetorically. "If you want Mulder to waste time - why not just, I don't know, send him to El Passo or something."
The two other men exchanged a look.
"Not El Passo, Walter." said the smiler.
Skinner absorbed this.
"But paper-work? Is that really - and I thought you wanted him and Agent Scully kept separate. In fact, now the X-Files are closed down I don't see the need to -"
"You're not supposed to."
The cigarette smoking man could electrify a room when he chose to and he did so now. Skinner felt the hairs on his neck rear up, beneath the white collar of his shirt.
"And there's pressure Walter," the smiling man relaxed a little, feeling his authority restored slightly by the power of his colleague.
Skinner looked at him now. "Pressure?"
"Sure Walter, an air bubble in the veins of the body federal, an aneurysm - boy, we need to find it, those things can - well, you know -"
"It'll be a mess." The man in the shadows stated with certainty. "We need to know the Who, How and Why. And we need to remove it."
Skinner's chair creaked slightly as his bulky frame shifted backwards away from the man.
"I don't understand, you're saying there's a leak? And there's 'pressure?' You mean -"
The smoking man never liked playing games for very long. "I mean someone wants the X-files re-opened and they are releasing balloons so bright that Fox Mulder will see them no matter how dark the basement we bury him in. So..."
"So, you re-open the X-Files anyway and use that to..."
"Just make sure Mulder takes the test."
"And yourself too, don't forget that Walter, that's what we came for." The smiling man brought his hands together in a silent clap.
The man in the shadows sighed again. "I think we're done here," was all he said.
By the time Skinner had looked down again at the questionnaire front sheet the men had gone, with nothing to show that they had been there but the smell of smoke.
Skinner clicked a button on his desk. "Get me Agent Mulder!" he barked.
......................................................................................................
thanks to beshter and browncoat2x2 for inspiring this somewhat!
"Huh Walter?"
Skinner made a sound in his throat and directed his answer instead to the figure in the shadows.
"You know damn well I did - it's been a formality since -"
The smiling man cut him off. "Yes for the longest. You wanna know why Walter? Because they work."
Skinner dragged his attention across to the smiling man now, who nodded. "Don't be offended Walter, after so many years - it's an honourable list. Quite a role call, you'd be amazed."
"Really?" Skinner knew his anger wasn't clever and he hoped the glare of the light, as it slanted in through the blinds of the office and ricocheted from his spectacles, would cover his own.
"Yes Walter you would."
The man in the shadows gave a sigh now himself - or perhaps it was simply the rustling sound he made as he took out and lit yet another cigarette.
"You know who took the test once?" the other man continued. "William S. Burroughs."
Skinner gave no reaction.
"Y'see? Like I say, Walter, it works - keeps the fags and the riff raff out."
There was a sudden choking cough from the cigarette smoking man. His associate flicked a questioning look.
The man with the cigarette in one hand used his other to wave the man away.
Skinner knew the last remark had been a clumsy attempt to bait him. He simply waited, keeping his weight on the chair despite his instinct to get up and throw the man out.
The man was smiling again now but when he opened his mouth it was the voice from the shadows that Skinner heard.
"And will Fox Mulder take the test?"
The smiling man looked annoyed, thrown off-balance. "Of course he will that's - if Walter here orders him to. You will order him, won't you Walter?" He had regained some of his former expression, and stroked his bushy moustache for emphasis.
The smoking man simply bent forward from the waist slightly and repeated his question.
"He won't want to," said Skinner truthfully.
"And what will you tell him Walter?" The smiling man was leaning forward too, in a bad impression of good cop/bad cop.
Skinner looked him in the eye.
"That this isn't the Parallax View and you're not Warren Beatty."
In the darkness the cigarette smoking man chuckled, it was dry and papery, without mirth. "And will that work?" he asked.
Skinner was relieved to be talking directly now and he said as flatly as possible, "Yes - if it comes from Scully."
He could see it clearly in his mind; Mulder would do his very best Beatty grin and take the test just to prove them wrong.
"But his answers won't be worth a damn." Skinner added.
The cigarette man sucked on some smoke reflectively.
The other man shook his head. "That's the beauty of it Walter, even if he gives the most random answers in the world - the personality behind them will still come through," he flicked at his moustache again, "no matter how immature."
More bait for the Assistant Director to ignore, he simply kept his focus on the foggy corner where the other man sat.
"But that's not really the issue here, is it?" he asked rhetorically. "If you want Mulder to waste time - why not just, I don't know, send him to El Passo or something."
The two other men exchanged a look.
"Not El Passo, Walter." said the smiler.
Skinner absorbed this.
"But paper-work? Is that really - and I thought you wanted him and Agent Scully kept separate. In fact, now the X-Files are closed down I don't see the need to -"
"You're not supposed to."
The cigarette smoking man could electrify a room when he chose to and he did so now. Skinner felt the hairs on his neck rear up, beneath the white collar of his shirt.
"And there's pressure Walter," the smiling man relaxed a little, feeling his authority restored slightly by the power of his colleague.
Skinner looked at him now. "Pressure?"
"Sure Walter, an air bubble in the veins of the body federal, an aneurysm - boy, we need to find it, those things can - well, you know -"
"It'll be a mess." The man in the shadows stated with certainty. "We need to know the Who, How and Why. And we need to remove it."
Skinner's chair creaked slightly as his bulky frame shifted backwards away from the man.
"I don't understand, you're saying there's a leak? And there's 'pressure?' You mean -"
The smoking man never liked playing games for very long. "I mean someone wants the X-files re-opened and they are releasing balloons so bright that Fox Mulder will see them no matter how dark the basement we bury him in. So..."
"So, you re-open the X-Files anyway and use that to..."
"Just make sure Mulder takes the test."
"And yourself too, don't forget that Walter, that's what we came for." The smiling man brought his hands together in a silent clap.
The man in the shadows sighed again. "I think we're done here," was all he said.
By the time Skinner had looked down again at the questionnaire front sheet the men had gone, with nothing to show that they had been there but the smell of smoke.
Skinner clicked a button on his desk. "Get me Agent Mulder!" he barked.
......................................................................................................
thanks to beshter and browncoat2x2 for inspiring this somewhat!
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Date: 2009-02-26 06:12 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2009-02-26 06:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2009-02-26 06:31 pm (UTC)DO SKINNER!!!!! Please, come play on
Krycek...well, he hasn't gotten his ass handed to him in a while. LOL
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Date: 2009-02-26 09:29 pm (UTC)I particularly liked this bit "You're not supposed to."
The cigarette smoking man could electrify a room when he chose to and he did so now. Skinner felt the hairs on his neck rear up, beneath the white collar of his shirt. because I could hear it and see it so clearly, and becuase it's very accurate!
Have you done much X-files in the past? That show got me started in fanfic writing :o)
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