wytchcroft | re; the Lower Piphill Literary Society meeting

. . . Dear Jasmine;

Apologies for these minutes being so late but really, given some of the complexities facing the Lower Piphill Literary Society (see SCONES below), it’s hardly any wonder, is it? I have to say that I wholeheartedly agree with your remarks of the 27^th; that in the absence of a stable chair we really don’t have a leg to stand on - and with our numbers having fallen off recently this is a situation in dire need of a remedy. Again I concur with you, you are quite right; StJohn is just the type of rugged charismatic individual a group such as ours looks for. I believe Lawrence (DH that is) to have been quite correct when he talked of some men being natural leaders.

Talking of charismatic men (we do that quite a lot don’t we, ha-ha!) I would like to put forward a name for honorary head of our little group. It is a name very familiar to you I’m sure, especially with the town having so recently unveiled a statue honouring one of our finest citizens (deceased), Sir Cedric Rothbean whose performance as Sherlock Holmes in The Fungus of Terror has, to my mind, never been surpassed.

Now; the allocation of time and points of order for ‘previous business’ I leave to you. Following on however, I would note that under ‘apologies for absence’ it may be a touchy subject to bring up Bartleby. Of course Agnes cannot attend (though I fully expect her to take up her hospital bed and walk in at some point, she’s the hardy type) but Doris & Barbara I suggest be earmarked for ‘Any Other Business’ (see SCONES).

Ah, here we are then; the meat in the risotto, the heart of the matter, some motions to put forward and some to argue against... Andrew has kindly suggested that the group officially recognise the achievement of young Nancy in getting her poem printed by the Church Gazette. The Motion I put to you is that Nancy (all of 13 and a half!) has a bright literary future ahead of her.

Against; I have to admit that at first I took ‘Ms’ O’Sheaf’s comments to be a sort of literary pun (or something) but apparently she is quite sincere in her desire to have our meetings conducted in the old Pippish tongue. In fact she has already started giving lessons to Hilary and Fiona (Fiona whatsit, you know Dave and Fiona, that one). Well, I think it’s just silly – but apparently it has really got up the nose of our Francis and she is very cross. You’ll remember that Francis just won us some very favourable press with her old drama in new ways at the Sainsbury’s car-park. Very socially conscious is Frankie. By all accounts however O’Sheaf views her as something of a literary heretic. Andrew to the rescue again on this one too; he has floated the idea that they both collaborate on a Halloween special using old Pippish lore and tales and what-nots. This sounds jolly good to me and likely to entertain many parents and children.

Well, I think, (I do that a lot don’t I, ha-ha!) that’s about everything except a big thank you for the sausage rolls and oh, yes, Timothy has a new book out – but when does he not? When does he not?

Oops, dear me and now I’ve run out of time for any other business – by which, obviously, I mean SCONES. And if you ask me, the chair (whoever that may be) would be wise to do the same!

TTFN dear, don’t let that writer’s elbow get you down!

Yours, etc,
Muriel R. M.Wolsey

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Some Mummers Do Ave 'Em:

Unearthed fragments of a lost Mystery Play exhibited at the local Lower Piphill library and reconstructed for performance by Marjorie O'Sheaf.

Ms O'Sheaf explains.

"Well, it's had a curious history and to bring it back is really quite something special. The play has been lost to performance for a very long time. There was a rather crude attempt at a reconstructed version in 1958 but Devils dressed as Teddy Boys - I'm afraid it cast rather a shadow over the Jamboree that year."

Devils?

"Oh yes, rather like those in the Cornish tradition 'The Death of Pilate' if you recall. In any case, yes. In this play they tempt Lazarus to stay in his tomb dead and not get up again."

Why?

"I suppose it was very early in the morning! Ha-ha -ha! Even so, I imagine the knocker-upper was not amused."

And is Lazarus tempted?

"Not really. In fact he alarms his wife by jumping out full of beans with a click of the master's fingers. It's debatable but the given translation into modern of 'Hie thee backheim thoudeft suurnasoille' is 'Get back in yer hole, daft sod.'"

Gosh, so poor Lazarus's wife is a little reluctant to welcome him home!

"Well, ever since the Ancient Greeks there's been a tradition of that, followed by the inevitable recognition and reunion scene generally by the presentation of family objects, a comb or some such. The scene in the Pippish Lazar Play is very moving:
'Be thees ere thy grotto sandal shoon uff ae recognise the ponge.'
'Gladdathat ae be fir else therein is none a might find shelter with save Smith the seller and aem sicke of cellars, ho ho hoeth.' "

Well, attentive readers can look for the first performance in only a few months time!

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Lower Piphill is the creation of Chris Browning at Thecommonswings (go and tell him how much better he does it than me.) whose permission i am grateful to have had.

The characters in the above however are mine - so blame him not nor smear him when a light basting or indeed palm greasing will go down so much better than batter!

and if anyone knows how to put columns into the RTE let me know...
it looked so nice on the lap top. whinge whine wail etc.